Jake,
I really like the item that you shared and the personal connection that it has to you. You gave great insight and thought to the project and really seemed to change your perspective about the people around you. It really is important to remember that everyone around us has a story to share. You did a great job at answering the questions and I feel like you really benefited from the assignment. In your answer though make sure to look at punctuations and run on sentences in the future with your responses. Overall, really good job.
Ms. Neill
***After seeing the feedback that you gave me on the what you keep challenge that I received after the email this is what I wish I would have sent for Jake:***
Jake,
Thank you for sharing about your Pooh stuffed animal and your blanket as your object that you keep and the personal connection that it has to you. The stranger that you interviewed seemed very interesting as well as his Star Wars collections. I liked the pictures that you used and felt like the story you gave with both pictures was meaningful. You gave great insight and thought to the project and really seemed to change your perspective about the people around you. It really is important to remember that everyone around us has a story to share. You did a great job at answering the questions and I feel like you really benefited from the assignment. In your answer though make sure to look at punctuations and run on sentences in the future with your responses. Overall, really good job.
Ms. Neill
Drake,
Thank you for sharing your trophy in the assignment, it seems like a very personal item to you. While you did answer the questions it would be better to have more elaboration with the answers. You did a great job of explaining why the trophy is something you keep and important to you. For the stranger that you interviewed they described a person and not an object. While it was nice of the stranger to say their son as the object, the goal was to find something that the stranger carries around with them or doesn't want to throw away etc. Both the pages lacked photos as well. Be sure to reread your work and use formal writing. For example, I would not say "wanna" in a school assignment. Moving forward I would change the stranger's item to an actual object and an explanation behind it. I would discuss with your teacher the options for moving forward with resubmissions. Thank you for sharing your personal object that you keep.
Ms. Neill